Arsenal 1-0 Shakhtar Donetsk: Champions League – as it happened

Today at 05:15 PM

Arsenal didn't bring their best stuff but secured the three points nonetheless

The teams are out. Arsenal in their red and white finery, Shakhtar sporting second-choice black with a spatter of orange. Once the Uefa marketing bods have done their usual number on George Frideric Handel, we'll all be good to go. "History does indeed favour Arsenal if you take a long enough look backwards," agrees Charles Antaki, "but if very recent history is anything to go by, then unless Arteta has managed to choke off the supply of stupid pills that have been doing the rounds of the players, then we will see a parade of hilariously bad back passes, suicidal tackles, and an outbreak of ball-kicking-away. Just Say No."

The two early games have finished. Milan have beaten Club Brugge 3-1, while Monaco have thumped 1991 champions Red Star Belgrade 5-1. All of which leaves the Big Table looking like this as Arsenal, Shakhtar and everyone else go into the 8pm kick-offs. (Please ignore the technical glitch at the bottom, which keeps drawing in Celtic's group-stage humiliation from last season, as though getting thumped 7-1 by Borussia Dortmund the other month wasn't bad enough. Rumours that our development team work with Penny Arcade blasting from the office stereo on loop are well wide of the mark.)