'How Do I Split $7 Million Between My Son Who's Bad with Money and My Husband's Ungrateful Kids?'

Today at 02:53 PM

A 74-year-old woman and her husband of nearly 30 years have a combined net worth of $7 million. As the couple prepared their estate plans, the woman struggled to come to terms with the money-savvy husband's decision to divide their net worth equally between their two boys. She explained her confusion in a recent MarketWatch post, where she expressed her concerns about giving away her portion of the estate to the sons since they either have a poor history of managing money or don't require the wealth.

The couple has three children between them. The younger son, with poor money habits, is from the woman's previous marriage and the elder one, supposedly wealthy, is her husband's own son. The husband also has a daughter from his previous marriage, but the couple isn't in touch with her. They decided not to include the daughter while drawing up their wills. Meanwhile, the senior woman's son has no relationship with her ex-husband and has made poor financial decisions for years despite receiving financial support to the tune of $250,000. Meanwhile, the eldest son would spend the couple's money despite having his own wealth. The woman seeks insights into how to keep her husband's son out of her portion of the couple's combined estate.

'His Son And His Wife Are Not Good To Us'

The woman noted that their $7 million wealth is growing fast with each passing year, thanks to her husband's "amazing" money skills. However, his nature to "save the pennies" rather than spend them possibly put the woman under decades of budgetary constraints. Furthermore, she claimed her husband's son and wife are not good to them and rarely offer help, but they expect a big windfall. While the senior doesn't want to give them any part of their estate, she is also confused about how much to offer to her own son. The woman has made provisions for staggered payments over the years for the younger son, who is facing a bleak future due to an ongoing divorce over an issue with his wife that could be related to homeschooling their two children. While the mother of three acknowledges her husband won't react well to cutting off his own son from their combined net worth and that the children can benefit greatly from the money, she drew a hard line of being biological children despite adopting his kids.

Her Challenges Reveal Separate Dilemmas

The 74-year-old evidently worries about giving millions of dollars to their children with total control over how they spend it, given their history of exploitative or poor decisions with money. She is even concerned about how suddenly becoming wealthy will impact their life choices moving ahead. A columnist opined that if the kids had no inheritance or the eldest son wasn't as rich, it can be hard to tell if they would have made different choices in life. However, it is more likely that they wouldn't be spending or losing money as much if the couple hadn't offered unconditional financial support their entire lives.

The couple's financial advisers described the assets as generational wealth, but it has become more of a burden to the woman, who feels the money isn't making her as happy as she'd like. Terming the funds as "generational wealth" makes the woman responsible for passing it down to her heirs as a birthright regardless of what she believes or how they spend the large sum. However, the woman has total control over how she manages her part of the estate, which she could exercise, given how the children had received a lifetime of financial support. While her husband may be upset if she decides to bring up this sensitive topic, she isn't obliged to part her estate with the eldest son.

The Woman Has An Opportunity To Make The Best Use Of Her Wealth

The couple won't part their net worth with the husband's daughter, and the woman has total power over what she chooses to do with her wealth, which offers an opportunity to make the most meaningful decision for their children's and grandchildren's futures. The woman can set up a charity to support causes she believes in, create 529 plans, pay off her son's mortgage, or establish a trust to ensure the beneficiaries receive the money timely for the intended use. Meanwhile, it can prove helpful if she understands her husband is also free to manage his wealth without external influence. At most, she can present her perspective on the situation and maintain open communication with the husband for clarity.