Five Football Gripes That Belong in Room 101: Ranting for the Real Fans
Today at 02:00 AM
From the 10-yard rule to the 6-second keeper count, here's what John Wilson would love to banish from the game forever!
I'm sure everyone's familiar with Room 101 — the TV programme inspired by George Orwell's 1984, where people get to banish pet hates or annoyances for good. Oddly, whenever I watched it, other people's gripes became my own, even when they hadn't bothered me before! Inspired by this, I've decided to throw some of my own football frustrations into Room 101 in the hope they don't end up becoming yours.
- My first entry always has my friends laughing at me. They think I'm a grump, but as the late, great Bobby Ball would say, this really gets on my pigging nerves! It's the 10-yard rule. Does anyone really know what a yard is? As a retired teacher with a yardstick in my classroom for years, I do! It's actually 91cm, nearly a metre. Striding out a yard is a long, unnatural step, yet most refs walk ten paces, meaning walls end up about 7 yards away instead of the full ten. Sorry, but this will forever get on your pigging nerves now, too!
- Next into Room 101 is the unwritten rule where referees let an attack continue after the 90 minutes is up. If a corner is about to be taken, refs often let it go ahead. But if time's up, it's up! I refereed schoolboy and county football for 35 years, and for me, time meant time. Now, I don't mean blowing the whistle mid-shot, but this habit of allowing attacks to proceed 'just to see what happens' drives me mad! It happened against Luton, for instance. Their keeper came up for a corner; the attack continued, but when we broke away and had three men on goal, then the whistle went for full-time. Infuriating!
- Third entry — and you might want to check the rule book — keepers are only allowed to hold the ball for six seconds. You read that right: 6 seconds. In your next match, just count the seconds in your head whenever the keeper collects the ball. It's amazing how often this rule gets ignored.
- Now for foul throws. Grown men, professional footballers, and yet I'd say about 20% of them can't throw properly. The ball must be released before the hands pass over the head, yet I see this rule flouted regularly. Join me in foul throw spotting — it's surprisingly addictive.
- Then there's the strange trend of cutting the backs of socks. Apparently, someone claimed it allows the calf muscles to cool. Really? It's just a fashion thing that some players do because others do it, with no scientific proof whatsoever. It's about as sensible as the 90s fad of players wearing nose clips to 'preserve oxygen'. More worrying is the trend for tiny shin pads that barely protect the shins. I'm starting to sound like Mr. Angry here, so I'll leave others to add their own football annoyances to Room 101.
- Finally, here's a tactical peeve rather than a broken rule or fashion gripe. Why don't coaches leave a player on the halfway line when we're defending a corner? It would at least draw two opposition players back and give us an outlet if we clear the ball. I know… England have already got their manager, but it's a thought!
